How often do we really listen to what we say? How aware area we of what comes out of our mouth? Does our body language reflect what we say?
Conversely, how well do we listen to what others say – I mean really listen with our heart?
A little while ago when we were coming back from the hospital after I had some knee surgery, my dear attentive husband asked me what I wanted for lunch. I really love pears: he really loves sandwiches.
I said I would really love a pear and a nice cup of tea. Why was I not surprised to receive an egg sandwich with my cuppa?
How do you feel when that sort of thing happens to you? Do you do that to others?
Now I wonder what may have happened if I had really gone on about how much I was looking forward to that pear and if he could cut it up into quarters and take out the core and put it on a small plate for me!
So what did I do? I graciously accepted what he had prepared and just got on with it. I could say I did this because I know he prepared and gave me the sandwich with the best of intentions. I could think of a dozen reasons for accepting the sandwich and then I need to ask myself just how important was my goal – to have the pear?
Perhaps you might say so “big deal”, what is all the fuss about. My husband did make me lunch and I would agree – he did.
My question is – how do you handle this type of situation when the stakes are higher? Do you settle for second prize or do you stick to your guns and insist on what you want.
By accepting the second prize you are disempowering yourself. You are telling the other person (and yourself – which is more the point) you don’t value yourself, that you don’t matter that much, you don’t count. Where did that come from? What was your purpose in accepting second prize.
You might ask yourself – who is responsible for the outcome, the things you want in life, who owns the issue, to whom are you accountable at the end of the day?
What are your thoughts? Do you feel the same about the end result regardless of what’s at stake?