We all know who she is – Negative Nellie is that person in our circle who always sees the downside – her glass is always half empty.
What’s her story? What does she get out of all this? Frankly I find it hard going and avoid her like the plague. I keep telling myself – She’s not dragging me down that black hole. I’ve been there and I’m staying right away from there.
We read about people suffering from depression and their being on medication all the time. Heaven knows, there are enough TV ads pushing some over-the-counter medication, even for babies. All this tells me is that the pharmaceutical companies are non-discriminatory in their targeting potential customers and the earlier they get them in their clutches, the greater their chances for a long-term customer.
My views are just that – my views and they are based on an overall generalisation and are certainly not aimed at anyone specifically. I believe if someone has gone to the doctor and the doctor has prescribed some medication then I’m sure it’s for a very good reason. I’m equally sure the doctor does monitor his patient’s progress and needs.
I also believe many people are at effect in life and waiting for some-one else to “fix” their problems and I really believe we are all in charge of our own minds and, therefore, our outcomes. So, my first questions for Negative Nellie are –
- What do you want?
- What’s your goal?
- What is the purpose of your being so down on absolutely everything?
- Where’s the pay-off?
Another of my beliefs is that there is a mind and body connection and when you choose to be negative, when your glass is half empty – that’s all you can see – a half empty glass.
Conversely, when that glass is half full, that’s all you see – the positive side of life, the good stuff and this has rubbed off on those around me – or maybe those around me aren’t the same people they once were.
There are several circles in my life – one is a sewing class I run for the U3A and we have a couple of rules –
- Absolutely no whinging
- No putting yourself down – none of this “I can’t do that” etc.
- Champion the other participants in the class.
Laugh and the world laughs with you, weep and you weep along. Readers’ Digest has been telling us for years that Laughter is the Best Medicine. When we laugh and are happy our bodies release “good-feeling” hormones and we live a happy and fulfilled, fun-loving life.
Negativity is more than just being down about the mouth – it’s pervasive, it’s reflected in the words you use, the way you talk and walk, the things you do (or don’t do), the clothes you wear and how you wear them, the company you keep, the books you read, the music you listen to, the movies you see and so on.
At the end of the day, you are the average of 5 people around you – so take a look at your 5 people. Are they dragging you down that black hole? What’s going on in their world? What need are these people filling for you?
Next time you take a dive in your emotion state and tell yourself how depressed you are, how bad things are I invite you to step back a moment and consider –
- What was the trigger – that set off this feeling of despair
- What did I eat to bring this on
- Whata did I drink to bring this on
- How have I fuelled my body – physically, emotionally and environmentally
- What could I do to change things
- What could I do differently
- What else
- What else
- What else
After all, you are in charge of your mind and therefore your results.
A problem shared can be a problem halved.
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Until next time
Health and Relationship/Life Coach Adelaide