Hi – What’s working for you this week?
This week’s topic is – People create their own experiences.
Have you ever noticed how some people seem to be so lucky in life, they always seem to have the world at their feet, they appear to be successful at everything they do while other people never seem to really get going: they aimlessly meander through life and never seem to accomplish anything.
Setting and achieving our goals (whether we describe them as wishes or dreams, desires or outcomes) lies at the heart of human experience. When we take the time to set our goals and really put our heart and soul into it, the rewards are infinite. The pleasure or sense of achievement, the feeling of completeness and meaning gives us a sense of purpose and fulfilment. We have been motivated and we have done it. The experience gained in this exercise cannot be bought in a jar or a software package: it has to come from within.
Is having the secret to getting what you want something that would be of value to you?
Great – you might say to yourself and so what’s it all about?
Goal setting has been talked about forever and, yet, how many people ever commit their dreams, their wishes, their aspirations or, indeed, their goals to writing and follow through with them – in a focussed and determined manner? Who do you need to be to do this so you can have what you want?
Goals can cover many areas of life and to be successful most of us need someone to help us.
No doubt, you have heard the story about President Kennedy saying he was going to put a man on the moon before the end of the decade (meaning before 1970). President Kennedy was assassinated in 1963 and do you think that stopped him achieving his goal? That was a burning ambition and it was on a July afternoon in 1969 when a man named Armstrong walked on the moon.
Now President Kennedy did not do that all by himself. He had lots of help with resources provided by many people and their expertise, research and determination, not to mention the sponsorship and funding.
Your goal may not be as grand as putting a man on the moon and it is no less important. You will need help and this help can come in the form of a partner, a coach, a boss, your employees, a mentor, someone to support you. Support can come in many forms, such as expertise, additional skill base, additional knowledge, funding or someone who is there to hold you accountable.
Working toward a goal is part of human nature and is somehow linked to seeking pleasure and avoiding pain. Whether we consciously say to ourselves – this is my intended outcome or goal, we have set a goal. What we do to get that outcome has a purpose.
Suppose we wanted to go for a pizza – our goal is to get the pizza to eat, maybe for dinner, maybe for a party, maybe to satisfy our hunger, whatever.
Think of all the actions involved in achieving that goal. While this may seem unimportant, the steps are not so different to a bigger goal like putting a man on the moon where there are just more steps involved.
Imagine what life could be like if we consciously exercised these goal-setting actions around other things in our lives and really focussed on getting what we wanted – WOW.
How do we do this?
Well, first things first. We need to decide what we want. Think about the pizza. What do you want? A large one, a small one, a crusty one or one with a thin base? What do you want for the filling? With anchovies or without? Where will you get the pizza? From The Greasy Spoon or Pizza Joe’s? How much will it cost? Do you have sufficient money, do you need to go to the ATM, or do you need to have a whip around? How many people are you feeding, or is it just for you? How will you get the pizza – will you collect it or have it delivered? When do you want it?
And have you go the pizza yet? No. You are still in the planning stage.
Next step – you need to do something. Some action on your part is required to bring this outcome about – to get the pizza to where you want it.
From which restaurant will you buy the pizza? Need to go to the ATM? Will you collect or have it delivered? How will you order the pizza? Will you ring, text, send an email, message him on Facebook?
OK, so you’ve made the decision about which pizza and you want and from where you will purchase it. And now you have decided to ring through the order and you will collect.
Disaster – an obstacle. This is not all smooth sailing. When you ring you discover the restaurant is closed today – it’s Monday and that’s the day the pizza place has off, it’s their weekend. What now? Try the other place? So you ring them, they are the only place open for miles around and there is a two hour wait before you can collect your pizza. What now? You need to change what you’re doing until you get what you want. There is another pizza place 20 kms away. Do you ring them to see if they could give you what you want? Or are you prepared to wait the two hours and get your pizza locally because that would be the cheaper alternative? Or maybe you are prepared to settle for beans on toast?
As you can see, there are lots of things to think about and what have you learned during this experience?
All the things you have learned have enriched your experience and next time you will be so much more prepared and confident. You will cope with the situation more easily, effectively and effortlessly.
So, let me ask you – how did you feel when you learned there was only one restaurant open locally and there was a two hour wait? Were you frustrated, angry and disappointed or did you experience a sense of curiosity about how the pizza place functions or maybe you felt a sense of relief because it meant you didn’t really have to make a decision about which restaurant after all, the decision had been made for you.
How did your feeling about the situation affect your enjoyment of the pizza? Was your enjoyment enhanced because you could really appreciate a good pizza after all this time or did you allow the obstacle, which came in the form of a two hour wait, diminish your enjoyment of the pizza.
All these things are experiences based around a desired outcome. Imagine how rewarding your experiences could be when you really put your heart and soul into a major project. How much more would you enjoy it when you really planned? How much more could you achieve?
Remember – every champion deserves a great coach – why not you.