Have you ever felt paralysed when confronted with a decision – shall I go out or stay in, should I go to work or ring in sick, should I invest in that program or will they think I’m stupid/inadequate/not good enough?
Anxiety is a fear of something in the future – meaning it’s a fear of something that hasn’t happened yet.
It’s safe to stay in, it’s safe to stay where you are and it feels safe to not move forward or make a decision. When we know that we will be safe on the other side of something we need to do, it takes the fear out of that step. When we see those flying trapeze artists who start out on a platform which is safe, they know there is a safe platform at the other end which they will reach after they have done their trick and they accomplish their task with the greatest of ease on that flying trapeze.
Some people are so fearful of an event in the future (flying through the air like the trapeze artist) they are paralysed and never leave the platform.
I met this girl once who was anxious about going to school. Rather than going to school and facing her fear, a fear of something that may never happen, she stayed at home.
Now I know that sometimes there are unpleasant people in places like school and work and these people have the capacity to make life unpleasant – but only if you give them permission to do so.
These people are called “bullies” in today’s society. Bullies can be found everywhere and have been around forever.
Like everything in this world, bullies can only succeed if they are fed – meaning if you give them permission, if they have someone to bully.
So how does one overcome this fear of something that hasn’t happened yet?
I know this lady, let’s call her Suzie. Suzie told me she felt anxious about joining a cycling group. When I asked her what that was about she told me she was anxious about falling off the bike. When I asked her what would happen if she focused on staying on the bike and successfully completing her ride rather than falling off, she said she hadn’t thought about that. A few weeks later she was very excited when she reported that she had successfully completed her ride and was no longer afraid.
We get what we focus on so why not focus on what you want?
If anxiety is an issue for you and you’d like to move forward so you can enjoy life, please book a free session with me on https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11328808
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Remember, we are all so much more than we believe we are.