Our fifth Success Principle relates to Attitude.
Why is this so important, you might ask? Why indeed?
Have you ever been served in a shop where the shop assistant left you feeling like you had disturbed their conversation on the phone or that you were in the way or a nuisance and excess to their agenda? How did that experience leave you feeling?
Do you imagine you would have felt any different if the shop assistant were energetic and welcoming, listening to your needs and offering to help you in any way s/he could?
Well the same applies to you when you tell yourself you are up or down. Your Unconscious Mind doesn’t know the difference between real or imagined. When you come from a physiology and psychology of excellence you are projecting a positive attitude, one that carried you forward.
Think about someone you know, say, Richard Branson. When you see him – where is he looking, how does he walk, how does he sound, what do you think he’s telling himself, what are others saying about him? Would you say he was successful?
How do you know he’s successful? What are you seeing, hearing and/or feeling that tells you he’s successful? If he was doing something else, such as walking around with his head down looking like he has just lost his best friend, would you feel the same way about him?
Now that you know what you are seeing, hearing and feeling about Richard Branson, what are people seeing, hearing and feeling about you? Are you tomorrow’s success story?
When we act as if, it’s about attitude. It’s what you project that people pick up on. Words count for a tiny 7% of what we communicate. That leaves a massive 93% to other things such as body language, your tone of voice, your initial presentation, the way you wear your clothes, your packaging.
While you may think this is judgemental, and you could be correct in thinking that way, how many people choose to interact with you based on your initial presentation, in the first couple of seconds? Think about when a busker approaches you or a beggar approaches you – are you about to put some money in their bowl if they have just blown smoke in your face, they are dirty and smell of alcohol?
When you receive a gift from someone what does the packaging say to you? Do you find the packaging is making you feel special, that the giver has made a special effort to brighten your day, that it has piqued your curiosity about the contents, that the packaging says “You are a special person and I enjoy the opportunity to tell you so”?
Your own personal packaging, whether it’s your clothes or your presentation, projects messages to others. What would you like others to think, how would you like them to feel about interacting with you. Everyone wants to be associated with a winner.
When we talk about people walking their talk, we’re talking about how we see them, what they are saying to us, how we feel about their message. Are you the real deal? Are you walking your talk?
Whatever you give out comes back to you tenfold.
Recently I attended a workshop in the Adelaide Hills where the presenter was talking about the Law of Reciprocity – about giving and receiving. The presenter told us how she was helping someone with a project and the recipient who was a bit strapped for cash wanted to give her something in return and the presenter overrode her. The recipient erupted in a manner which surprised the presenter by asking her how dare she be so arrogant as to not receive something offered in thanks for the deed proffered. It’s great to give and also paramount we understand and appreciate the power of receiving. When you allow the other person to give as well, you allow balance to exist.
The physiology and psychology of excellence also extends to your behaviour.
When you say you will do something, when you give your word, make sure you do what you said you were going to do. Nothing speaks louder than silence.
Consider for a moment – how do you feel when someone tells you they will do something and they fail to deliver? What goes through your mind when you are presented with a situation where someone has failed to deliver, when someone has not kept their word, their promise?
When arranging for something to be delivered it is not uncommon for the delivery person to give you a rough estimation of the time of delivery. For example, if you were having a new washing machine delivered – how do you feel when you have cancelled your other activities so you could be at home to take delivery of the item, only to learn the delivery person got the wrong day or just didn’t show up for whatever reason. What are the thoughts that go through your head when you are on the receiving end of that action?
And it may not be the delivery of the washing machine but, perhaps, you said you would turn up to tennis practice or even for a coffee with a friend, and you failed to show? I don’t know about you – when that happens to me my confidence in that person takes a dive.
Is it any different when talking about money? How do you feel about the situation when someone has promised to pay you and they fail to deliver? What if it is your tenant who has not paid the rent or a friend who borrowed $10.00 or maybe $1,000? My feeling is that behaviour is the fastest way to sever a relationship. How do you feel?
Honour your word and, in the event of something that happens to prevent you from fulfilling your promise, be up front and let the other person know.
What are your thoughts?
Every champion deserves a coach, why not you?