Have you ever wondered why some people seem to have it all, everything seems to be working for them – you know, nice house, great kids, nice car, live in the right suburb, great company, happy people – and others never seem to get it off the ground.
So what is the difference – the difference that makes the difference?
Let’s take a look at our beliefs and values – those things that are really important to us. When something is really important to us we will defend it to the hilt. Think about something that is important to you – how do you feel when that special something is threatened? What if it is your family, what would you do to take care of your family?
When I was growing up my ad had several jobs so we three children could have a better shot at life. My dad was a farmer with a very small holding and he worked the land. He had sheep and cows and grew crops. The farm was not large enough to sustain a reasonable living and so my dad also share-farmed the land which belonged to other people. He also did earth moving work and drove trucks because it was important to him to give his kids a good education and a strong work ethic so we could make our way in the world.
When you look at nature, the parents of nature’s babies take care of them and nurture them and give them the best they can so they have the best chance possible to make it in life.
Now imagine for a moment there is something you really feel strongly about – perhaps it’s being the best in your field, whether it’s the best sales person, the best athlete, the best race-car driver or whatever. How far would you go to achieve your goal? How committed would you be? Would you be the person who stuck at it no matter what or would you give up after something went wrong or got in your way? What is the purpose of your goal? What is driving you? What is your WHY – the purpose behind your goal?
And then we come to our mindset – the way we think about things and ourselves. We surround ourselves with like-minded people who support us in our quest. We learn these things from our parents and other role models in our life. Right from our earliest days we pick up on beliefs and values and our mindset begins to develop.
Humans have a need to belong, to feel loved and accepted and when our needs are met we generally perform accordingly. Think about a gang – to successfully belong to a gang the members will do whatever the gang demands so they belong. Sometimes this may be socially unacceptable however the same rules apply – the reason behind their doing what they do is so they belong and are accepted.
The same applies in all team situations. Look at the footballers, for example. They all need to perform as one and support each other to win. When we behave in a way that offends the group, the group will ostracize the offender. Likewise, when we do something the group admires or approves of, we are rewarded – look at the movie stars.
Sometimes it’s easy to look outside our world and only see the gloss on the top and dismiss someone’s success by telling ourselves that they were lucky. Most people who are an overnight success took ten years or more to reach that level and it is the person they became during the process that is what gives them the edge.
When we were kids my siblings were often off with my dad doing outside farm things and they subsequently developed a value system and mindset like his whereas my talents were more like my mother’s. These changed later when I adopted a different role model and moved into another group – when I went to boarding school, when I went to work, when I moved in different circles.
So when we adopt beliefs and value and a mindset that serve us, we will succeed at whatever we want. The real trick is to first know what we want and then to become the person we need to be, to do what has to be done so we can have what we want.
Like to explore this some more – http://www.marghobby.com.au/free-coaching-session/
And remember, every champion deserves a great coach – why not you?