In my last blog I asked “Who Are You Going To Be In 2019? Well, that was Part I.

Now, I’m bringing you Part II.

You may recall we talked about the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT) where all too often it is easy to find yourself in Victim mentality with a Persecutor giving you “the business” and often a Rescuer coming to save you from the Persecutor and everything else.

Now, I have what I consider the antidote – the magic bullet, if you will. David Emerald calls this The Empowerment Dynamic (TED – not to be confused with Ted Talks on YouTube).

The TED triangle has the Creator in one corner, the Challenger in another and the Coach in the third corner.

The Creator recognises he has choice. He can elect to be the Victim or he can choose to create something which will serve him and enable him to live his life above the line. He can choose to grow from the tough times and be more focused on what he wants. The Creator is resilient, hopeful, energised and inspired. He is running on all 6 cylinders.

He is choosing to live his life above the line where he takes responsibility for his outcome, he is accountable for his actions and chooses to take sustainable baby steps to reach his goal. In short, his glass is half full.

When obstacles present themselves (as they invariable do) – whether they be people, circumstances or stuff generally, the Creator looks on these as Challenges. Challenges come along with opportunity and allow us to grow.

The Creator knows things will unfold at their own pace and to generally just trust the process.

When the Creator views life through the lenses of the Challenger he is self-aware and feels empowered knowing he is living life within his own value system and maintains his boundaries. He feels Confident, Clear and Capable.

The Creator with his Challenger hat on provokes and evokes himself and other to take action, his focus is on improvement and growth. He holds both himself and others accountable for their actions.

While this may seem too far removed from where you find yourself right now, when you choose to be the Creator you are open to coaching, whether formally or informally. The Coach knows we all have the resources we need to succeed within us right now and when the Creator is open to being coached, those resources will come to the fore. The Coach can assist the Creator in this regard.

The Coach has and demonstrates feelings of compassion and engagement. The Coach is supportive and always detached – this is how the Coach can best serve the Creator – by staying on the outside looking in.

The Coach will ask the Creator many questions around where he is right now and the challenges he faces with the object of assisting the Coach (and the Challenger) get some clarity around the issues that present themselves. The role of the Coach is to empower the Creator and assist in his growth and development. The Coach offers encouragement and positive reinforcement.

The Creator, Challenger and Coach are a winning team.

And so who will you choose to be in 2019?

If this is something you think you might like to discuss further, please feel free to make a time with me for a free obligation-free session. As I say to most people, the absolute worst thing that can happen is that each of us meets someone new for the day and if we do decide we are a good fit. Great.


Talk soon

Marg Hobby

Life Coach Adelaide – Taking You From Where You Are To Where You Want To Be